RIP Peshawar Army school children

बडे अजीब किस्म के लोग जान पाते है

अम्मी अक्सर कहा करती थी...

फरेब नहीं करते कभी किसी से

तकलीफ देना गलत बात है, जन्नत में दर्ज़ा नहीं मिलता...

पर जब मैं घर की बाहर की दुनिया में कदम रखता हूं

तो बड़े अजीब किस्म के लोग जान पड़ते हैं

दूसर को तकलीफ देने की इंतिहा हैं ..दिल के रुआब भी अलग जान पड़ते हैं..

अगर मैं आज की बात करता करू।

मैं तनहा,लहू से लतपथ पड़ा सिसक रहा हूं ..

चंद कदम दूर मेरे हमकदम तड़प रहे है आस पास.बड़ी दश्तनुमा फ़िज़ा बह रही हैं...

शायद किसी को दिखाई नही दे रहे आंसू और लहू..

ताड़ बातोड़ गोलियां बरसा रहे हैं चंद लोग

जिस्म के टुकड़े रखे हैं हर तरफ ,या लहु बिखरा हैं अर्श पार

सारे बाजार - गलिया खामोश हैं

मेरे घर में जमा हुजूम में शामिल हैं,फरेब करने वाले, फरेब न करने वाले

नेकदिली का वास्ता देने वाले लोग,जन्नत की दलीलें देने वाले लोग

आंसू रुकने का नाम नहीं ले रहे..

कुछ लोग अपनों को खोने से ग़मज़दा हैं

कुछ लोग के पुराने ज़ख़्म ताज़ा हैं

बाकि सिहर रहे हैं खौफ से...

कुछ मुलाज़िम उबल रहे हैं गुस्से में..

कुछ लोग तकलीफ बयां नहीं कर पा रहे..

मेरी अम्मी खामोश हैं, शायद वो यकीन करना बंद कर दे! खुदा पर, ज़न्नत पर, नेकदिली पर

अब मैं हिस्सा नहीं रहा इस खुदगर्ज़ दुनिया का..

सफ़ेद लिबास में ले जा रहे हैं मुझे

मैं नन्ही उगलिओ से ताबूत खोलना चाहता हूं,अम्मी से बातें करना चाहता हूं

स्कूल के बारे में बताना चाहता हूं..

बड़ी अलग की तरह की बातें हो रही हैं..

कुछ लोग दबी आवाज़ में बोल रहे है

जिहाद जैसे शब्द..जो नहीं समझ आ रहे मुझे

मैं, सुन रहा हूं चुपचाप..

वो बोल रहे हैं.. आज फिर आयेंगे..

इस्लाम का वास्ता देने..

जिहाद का मतलब बताने..

आज मेरे जनाजे में शामिल होंगे

मेरे शहर के अजीब लोग..

दर्द

वो दर्द रिसता हैं रफ्ता रफ्ता,और मैं तकलीफ से परेशान हो जाता हूं मैं

बहती है गहरी चुप्पी,भयानक मायूसी

और बेचैन दर्द से छटपटाता  हूं मैं

वो बहुत गहरा हैं,अंदर तक समाया हुआ

जिसे कोई देख भी नहीं सकता,जो महसूस कर पाता हूं मैं

चलती है कश्मकश हारने-जीतने की,अजीब सा खेल हैं

जीत कर भी हार जाता हूँ मैं.

कैसे कहूँ,लफ्ज़ नहीं मेरे पास,वो सवाल पर सवाल दागते है

और पलके झुकाए चला जाता हूँ मैं

अजीब से बांध गया धड़कते दिल वाले पत्थर के बुत से..जितना पास आता हूँ

उतना खुद को नुकसान पहुँचता हूँ मैं..

Its ''me'' time.

Saturday morning, sunshine is much brighter; Gurubani path in  my laptop is playing. Washing powder fragrance spread all around room, actually I have dipped some cloths in bucket for washing. The refreshing breeze blowing from the verandah door,  green light reflecting from the tree outside . I just love the season, sky is much blue, clouds are much  sparklingly brighter , Mother nature is more happier after the grand baath , I mean to say that after the rain.

Today  i don’t want go out, I am not feeling to talk to anyone, I don’t have such plans for the day. Today I want  to be with me. No office work, no more clients questions, no linked in update, not interested in checking  the news feed on Facebook.

Its 13th sep   waiting for September to go and November to come, my b’day month. I will enter in the next year of my life. Will meet new people, will learn new lessons, will be busy to working on my college project, will make new friends, will go for shopping and much more.

But is that the only thing I want to do in my life? 

Time is very precious, it is  not going to come back. No one can correct the mistake  committed in past, but  does not mean that mistakes are scary, mistakes are the part of learning.

At this moment I just want to feel myself, , want to take a moment to turn around , to take a look. Am I missing something while moving ahead ? Is something precious being left behind ?The answer is yes, I am new person, more calm, much humble . I am missing the small things for example I used to  early wisher on the b’day to my close one . But now days due to unavoidable circumstances I forgot b’days., seriously I don’t have anything to explain, but I want to confess one thing I still love them from deep inside from my heart , I care for them, I am happy to have them in my life.

I have seen few changes In me, I started missing my family more often, started  realizing that they are very precious. I came close to  few of my friends, never miss them. I love to talk , to meet them or simply whatsapp them.

In the process of being new  me, I found out few more beautiful relations. There is a lady in my office. She is much senior to me . I  don’t know much about her, she is very graceful and  has a beautiful aura. I am always looking out for the means talk to her, want to spend quality time with her , that is something called bonding. To put it simply connections of the souls. one of the most striking part of the   article  is a  phone call, yesterday one of my friend called me up. He is famous for his creativity .The most interesting part of him is  to give new names to friends. For example Gaurav  becomes  Gori shanker and Aditi becomes  Adi manav. He also  kept me on my toes, while guessing a new name about me. 

At present , I am eagerly looking forward towards the next version of me and its evolution

  

Udas chand

Chamkna to Fitrat hai uski,
Andhre  ko khoob dhoya hoga chand.
kal raat jo yeh barish hui, kitna roya hoga chand .
chalte chalte thak gya hoga, 
Badlo ki god mein sar rakh kar soya hoga chand
Hazaro taaro ki beech akela sa hai.
Gaal par geeli lakire lekar baitha chand.

Goodbye love

Hii, This is my last  E mail for before leaving city, I am leaving tomorrow morning, packing is almost done, I am tired like hell but n no of thoughts  are running in my mind, I can’t go like that , I need to talk to you..i want to share  my emotions  before leaving  that how I am  feeling..May be I will never any  get chance to share my mind with u again, actually I don’t want..

You were the  most  beautiful part of my life, the most memorable days of the life  which I spend with you .I will nourish  the memories.

I loved you with all my heart , I loved you the way you speck, the way you talk, the way u walk.. I love your eyes, your smile. even I don’t have words to express my love for you.  You have occupied a special part in my heart , when, why, how..i don’t know..i don’t have any logic .I loved you with deep my soul, sometimes it seems like you are  taking breath inside me.

Things will remain same, Heart won’t stop beating after moving.  Life goes on,Memories are golden treasure. One of the part of my heart  will remain with you. Around you..n will do care for you..

It was great to be with you, I have invested precious years of my life n harvested  beauty of love, if u will come n ask me today. Then my answer would be I wana stay with with you..wana grow  older with you. I am ready to cook for you..i am ready to take care of  your family n home.. I wana care for u..whenever you feel sick, I wana hold your hand n walk along with you,When thing  goes out of track.

But truth is very  hard, its hardest to accept the reality. Finely I accepted  the truth  losing my sleep, weird mood swings , endless painful tears that I should to move on..you were right we are different. I wish I could make you understand that we can accept differences. silence of near n dear one kills the relations, expectations hearts.

Now  I have to go, I don’t want anything, not your friendship neither your love . I don’t have hard feelings for you.. even m left with nothing n  I want to  find myself.

I will miss you, I will miss the b’day song which u sang very bad, I miss the the  moment when u hugged me on Holi celebration. I miss all my silly thought ,n I will miss myself with you..

Sometimes its better to let go the things, that is one of the hardest goodbye of my life. Its difficult to leave the person you loved the most ..its feels like hell to wait for single call or msg.i don’t have  courage to speck my heart out,I wish I could make to understand, I never want to regret  so I thought to write last email to you.

Thank you so much for being  part of my life. I wish you happiness  and peace .

Lots of love !!!

 Goodbye.

YadDo kI PoTli

 

                                       YEh jo  aAj PaL haIn, kal ki kisSe ho jaYgE.

                                       YadDo kI pOtLi hOgI..

                                       KuCh mEre KuCh tUmHre hiSse gO jaYge.

                                      GAr mIla vQat tuMhe khUd k sAth

                                      To hUm tuMse milNe aaEge..

                                      gAr nAzare mili aiNe mEin khUd sE

                                      tO akSh hMare bHi jhilMilAyGe.

                                     YEh jo kAhi uNkahI baAte haIn haMre bEech

                                     KaBhi aAnkhe bolegi , kAbhi laFz larkhDa jaYgE..

                                     NA meRa kUch bAki h, Na kUch tUmhAra raHega

                                     KhAyaLat  yEh mEre kIsi  dIn

                                     GaZal bAn kaR  GuNguNayEge..

Life is Beautiful!

Hiii, That’s me…Chanchal…with world’s best smile and beautiful eyes!!! Credit goes to mamma, the most beautiful lady of the world. I have seen something called love in her eyes and humanity in her deeds. Here I am to share a small part of my beautiful life! It is very feel good to be independent….self dependent life!! My mistakes ,my decisions, my tears n my laugh. Early morning wake ups in ..kaam vali bai’s good morning didi to gate vale uncleji ’s bii… Question from cook that what he has prepare in the breakfast? To asking from auto vala bhaiya kitne paise loge? Life is melodies the way it is..and i am trying to be good listener. M working on myself, wana be a good daughter, great sister, best friend and good human being. I love my roommate laugh louder to see funny pics on whats app, I love when my one of best friend started conversation with me that sab shi h, no complain and no regrets! Nobody is perfect we need to accept the people, the way they are..my M.B.A classes are going good, office is fine. I have wonderful family and beautiful relations with friends. I am thankful for the life . I am very happy with me, with you, with every thing.. Wana take each breath deep, wana laugh louder, wana move toward meaningful life.. Wana spared smile and love…..Its time to wake up n give a direction to life…wish me luck friends! God blessings.